Category Archives: Review

Balance and Chaos

I talk about balance on my Less is More Healthy vlog often. For much of my life, my life has been out of balance, and it wasn’t until my late 30s that I realized just how out of balance my life really was. I had this moment in my HR office where I was listing a job and I fully realized that I was replaceable. I was a cog in the machine. 

My time with that company was a sunk cost, I could have stayed on, but I knew my position was on the short list for elimination or being efficiencied* into something more stressful and taking up more of my free time.

Anyway, I applied for grad school. The debate back then was, do I go for my MFA and pursue my dream of being a college professor OR do I get my MA in art therapy. At this point you know I chose art therapy.

Anyway, 3 years later, I was applying for jobs, and landing one, and doing the usual post grad school hours churn.

This was not a balanced time in my life.

Anyway, fast forward to now.

I am seeking balance in my life.

Part of that balance is making changes to allow for healthier habits, like eating right for my body, exercise, and making art (which is a good thing for my mental health).

Anyway, part of my change for balance (yet another thing that has evolved from my recent values journaling exercise) is that I walk and try to draw routinely, in my case, nearly every day. I recently completed the 100 Vehicles Challenge, a self imposed challenge to get better at drawing cars and trucks in my en plein air sketching.

Only to find that I actually kind of like drawing vehicles. They tell stories, especially beaten up cars. Or well cared for but older luxury vehicles. What does it say when the Escalade has been keyed down to bare metal and the full length of the passenger’s side?

It’s all a story of some sort. 

Anyway, I’ve been drawing these little vignettes of cars, which seems like a sort of portraiture. We Americans really do identify with our vehicles, don’t we? I kept going with the vehicle drawings. I’ve done 77 of them as of this writing. I’m hoping to get to 300.

Yes 300!

Why 300?

Well, 100 is a challenge or even a class assignment. 300 is a commitment and really over the top. It’s excessive. But also 300 will look really cool in a huge mass on the wall of the gallery.

A local art gallery is doing a pop up in one of their smaller gallery spaces. You put in a pitch, get picked, and pay for the space for a week (it’s a pop up) and then have an art show in a legit gallery. My pitch was for 300 images on their walls. So now I have to make it happen. (I’m going to do 300 of them even if I DON’T get chosen for this space.) Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me.

Also the art association I’m a member of is doing a spring show and I’m applying to hang 3 of my pieces.

*This is my term for how corporations combine roles to make something more efficient and save money but really puts more stress on the people in that role. Enshitification of a job.

Artist, Capital A

About a month ago I wrote about the results of my values journaling session being that I REALLY want to focus on my making my own art and building an art making practice and being an Artist, capital A.

I had a convo not long after I finished my values journaling and arrived at this conclusion where I made the statement, “I really just want to be an Artist. I want to make art and sell art.”

I know it’s possible to be an Artist (capital A). More than a few of my undergrad classmates and friends I’ve made along the way, are in fact Artists (capital A).

Some have supportive spouses that make good money. Some have made wise choices for themselves. Others have begun their art career later in life. They’ve all made a choice at some point to just be an Artist with a capital A.

I know that many of my friends actually make “a living” as Artists. Some of them make Fine Art, some are illustrators, some do a combination of Fine Art and Illustration and teaching. But they all consider themselves Artists (capital A.)

Until I was older, I was always told that being an artist was not possible. I believed this, despite looking at my various art teachers, who were Artists (capital A) and various people in and around me who made art on the regular. I was told that art wasn’t a real career and that I’d struggle my whole life.

Among many other things.

What a load of horse shit. 

Life is full of struggles. I wonder if I had been encouraged to be an artist if I’d have been happier or struggled more. I look back to that summer where I PAID MY BILLS by making and selling art and I wonder if I had taken that as a clue that with hard work and effort that I could in fact make a living by making art.

Was it easy work? No.

That summer was many early days and long nights of hiking, painting, drawing, photographing and learning how to do this online thing- I learned HTML to do those early eBay postings. I learned how to take photos for online sales. I package my orders and shipped them out. It was a LOT of work.

But I loved every minute of it.

As the kids I mentor and work with tip toe towards graduation, I think about advice I wish I had gotten, support I wish I had gotten. I strive to be a better mentor than I had. I pass along opportunities to the young people I mentor now. I lift up instead of tear down.

Advice I have for young artists just starting out:

Live somewhere affordable. Look for cheap rent, get a roommate. Don’t be pulled into the allure of a high priced city. Build your sales in the low rent place and then move somewhere more expensive later.

Work full time on art. Work part time if possible. If not possible to work part time, work full time in something related to art or creativity. You’ll be tired, but creativity is a muscle that needs stretching. The more you are creative, the more creativity you have. Avoid retail, unless you feel like you need to work on your customer service skills. Retail will kill your creativity (if you are an introvert.) I also think everyone should work retail at some point in their life. Work in some service industry but don’t get trapped in it, unless it works for you and your creativity.

Make art as often as possible. Always carry a sketchbook. Draw and paint whenever you get a chance. Don’t worry about being the weirdo in the meeting with a sketchbook. Be the weirdo. Draw in meetings, but pay attention, don’t draw if you can’t also pay attention. Take notes along with your drawings.

​Start now. I ignored advice from a professor who told me in my second year of college that I should be working toward a show already. His advice was that I should be looking to show my art in coffee shops and small galleries NOW. It goes back to that adage about planting trees, the best time was to plant it 20 years ago, the second best time is now.

Make art and share it. Making art and sharing it is scary. The first time I shared a picture of my art it scared me. It still scares me. I lived through internet trolls and college critiques. It all sucked. But generally, when I have shared my art with other people the reception has been wonderful. People are generally kind and supportive. Share it with friends in real life. Post it to whatever social media you use. Block haters and trolls.

Ask for help. Ask for guidance. Reach out to that professor you liked, or that teacher that you looked up to. Ask them for guidance. Develop a relationship. (Bring them a coffee or tea. Or ask them to meet you for coffee/tea.) Ask them what they think about how to make a career in art. I promise you most creative people you know will help and support you. If they can’t they might put you in contact with someone who can help or guide you.

Thinking of this advice, I am starting now on a body of work, and I know of a gallery that is doing week long pop ups for a low price. I’m going to set aside some money to have a show. You’ll all get an invite.

Keep drawing

I had a great Thursday.

Please refer to my previous post wherein I pissed and moaned about how much my Thursdays usually suck.

I started my day off with a meeting, and against my better judgement I brough my sketchbook with me. I also bought my koh-i-noor Versatil magic pencil with me. I didn’t know what the contents of the meeting would be but I knew that the local movers and shakers of the city political world would be in attendance.

We listened to speeches and I decided to do what I do- draw the people around me. I sketched a bunch of people, doing my vibes not realism style and it made my day that much better. Anyway a few images from today:

I can’t remember all the names of all the people, but 7 folx who sat across from me.Lynn, MA mayor Jared Nicholson

Meegan Simpson- Best Director of Elder Services for the City of Lynn

I’m tempted to spend some time at some local political events and sketch people. Many folx sit REALLY still, especially the politicians.

Sketchbook VS Sketchbook

One of the things I really love about sketchbooks (and art journals) is that they can really encompass anything and everything. It’s also a point of contention.

Part of me wants to take all the sketchbook videos and categorize them into neat little containers that explain exactly what they are:

a finished art sketchbook- an art book

an art journal- an emotional sketchbook

an UGLY* or WORKING sketchbook- a sketchbook with rough ideas

and so on.

Part of my response of “WE NEED TO PUT THESE IN NEAT CATEGORIES.” Is due to the fact that I see all these things are really different, and they are. There are vast differences between an art book, an art journal, and a working sketchbook. The art in each one can be vastly different. But also have similar qualities.

I also think that because we lump finished art books in with the greater label of SKETCHBOOK that it’s confusing for people who want to start a sketchbook. It also sets a bar that is perhaps a bit too high.

As humans we compare ourselves to one another and I know I compare my art to that of other people.

When I look at my sketches and doodles that are in preparation for other pieces of work and then compare it to a sketchbook with finished art pieces, well I feel like I can never match up.

“If that’s their sketch, how amazing is their finished piece?”

A finished art piece in a sketchbook isn’t a sketch, it’s a finished art piece done in book format. It’s sequential art. And that’s okay but it’s important to note that it is a FINISHED art piece and not a sketch.

Sketches are meant to be rough. They are meant to be thoughts on paper. Thoughts made physical as we work our way to a more finished art piece.

I am not suggesting that sketches don’t have vibrancy, or that they aren’t beautiful in their own right.

I write this as someone who sells their sketches. I know the power of that immediacy and that vibrant capture of a moment. We respond to the artist’s eye and viewpoint of that moment. Sketches are beautiful and art on their own.

But it’s hard to compare a rough working sketch to a finished piece of art in a sketchbook.

(Going off of this, I think Urban Sketching is really Urban en Plein Air. A great deal of what we do in urban sketching is create finished art works in sketchbook format.)

I don’t know if there is a true resolution to this. Instead when I watch a video or look at an instagram of another sketchbook flip through I note to myself if I think this sketchbook is a finished art book, an art journal, or a working ugly sketchbook. I note this and then think about how my personal classification of these various sketchbooks helps me compare myself less to perfect pictures of art.

(It also helps me when I talk to the kids I work with about their sketchbooks. I talk to them about how we’re creating and using a working sketchbook, and how it’s going to have thumbnail sketches, color studies, and notes about our work.)

*I’m going to note here that I FUCKING hate the term UGLY sketchbook. But it seems to be what is being used here in social media land so I’ll stick with it and SEETHE.

Then VS Now- ugly middle

Recently, at my DayJob, we’ve started to get emails about how far children are behind compared to themselves, or others, pre-pandemic. Test scores are being compared, and conclusions drawn.

Meanwhile, I’m left wondering, what about the adults? Those in the lives of these kids, but also the rest of the world *waves about* who went through the pandemic.

I know that I have been forever changed. The pandemic was not kind to therapists and behavioral healthcare in general. Hell, I’d say that everyone in a helping profession was impacted in a way that will stick around. We might be forever changed, only the next gen will not feel this. Or maybe they will in the same way I was impacted by my grandparents living through the tail end of the Great Depression.

Professionally, academically, we call this generational trauma. See also: vicarious trauma.

We pass it down.

​I see this in my art studio. 

The ugly middle stage of an art work is leaving kids frustrated and rushing through a piece instead of their more normal careful plod. Tears are more usual than ever. Fixing becomes frantic, and when it doesn’t work the first time. End game.

Meanwhile, I make a wonky sketch of a car or a truck. It doesn’t really look like that truck- another intimidating mass of blocks and sharp points, mashed together and coated in black, gray or white. I paint it in pink for giggles.

Through this all I wonder how it is that art has saved me from the same frustrations. Sure I work with kids but I see the frustration on instagram, on YT on videos made by new creators and in my comments, and also on posts made to other social media sites- the frustration is under the surface for adults too, we just do a better job masking it. Giving up is right there at our fingertips.

But in my art, I am able to push through, tolerate the mistake and ugly middle. I know that if I think a spot sucks I can scrape it down and build it back up. I know what to do when a painting turns to shit.

scrape it down

build it back up

It’s a metaphor for life.

I chose to sink into the art. The art process. The Making of art. The keeping of a sketchbook and a journal. For now my Every Thing Every Where Journal is in 2 pieces and my sketchbook is on loose postcard shaped paper. Sometimes based on experience is necessary.

Postcard and pocket notebooks. I’ve been here before.

I fear there’s more lurking to this change. There will be more research that will uncover more issues. Still I’ll think, “what about adults? where are we?”

Writing About Art is HARD

I have written about art and creativity since 2001. Twenty four years is a long time to do anything. You might think that after 24 years of writing about art and creativity that I might find it a tad bit easier. To a point I do, when it is about my own creativity, but not about my own art, or the art and creativity of other people.Unfinished oil pastel painting of sunset over the city of Lynn. I’ve got a whole post about this process.

I have spent the last few weeks refreshing my knowledge and understanding of writing artist statements and project pitches. It’s very different than writing about art and creativity for my blog.

Today I have to rewrite my initial pitch for the art projects I’ve got my groups doing at work.

I had a month to rewrite these.Completed oil pastel painting of the Lynn skyline at sunset. 

The initial pitch will be altered to be the show statement posted in the gallery. I can be altered again later but this version is expected to be show ready.Another oil pastel painting of Lynn at sunset.

This is my least favorite part of my job. You’d think, hey Less writes for fun a LOT, that maybe I would like this or at lease wouldn’t mind it. But no, I hate this part. Most of the writing that I do on my own or for “fun” is minorly edited. It’s cleaned up for the blog, but it’s not endlessly tweaked, or talked about or over, other people don’t edit and add. It’s written, edited (not well*) and then I press publish.

The final version of these statements will have a core of my thoughts and words but will be tweaked to fit the narrative other people want.

In my own work I have control and say, “Done is better than perfect.” as well as “Good enough.”

Anyway, today I have to “lock in” and get this done.

* I have admitted here and other places that I have difficulty catching spelling errors. It’s even worse when I write on my phone. Especially now that I wear glasses.

​The oil pastel images in this post are examples I used in my groups where I showed kids how to paint with oil pastels. These were completed with Rubens and Lightwish oil pastels. Which are ENTIRELY different from Craypas.

Over and Over Again

I recently uploaded this video:

In it I explore making almost 20 images with different materials of the same scene. Since that video I have returned to a similar exercise. 

I have take quite a few images of the sunset over Lynn as I wait for the train. The late winter and early spring sunsets in New England are full of oranges, pinks, purples, brilliant yellows and dusky blue gray. They are stunning. Watching the sun set for 10 minutes over a city with an industrial past is fascinating.

The brilliance of the sun setting over ever darkening brick buildings and the glow of lights popping on is a mind altering dichotomy. One an unavoidable aspect of the day changing the other humanity’s unending march that alters the world.

Watching that interaction is simply cool. 

I snap a picture and think about the vibes of that moment. The camera never does the feeling justice. It’s a moment and it’s gone. When I return to my studio and set up my panel all I can do is try to evoke that moment and capture that feeling.

Vibes not realism, but the vibes are real. The feeling in that moment so very real. All I can do is try to capture it.

Disappearing Act

I have mentioned here several times that I’m working on this DIY Artist residency and applying for grants. I’m also gathering information about artist residencies that I can apply for to do next summer. I’m trying NOT to get too deep into the research rabbit hole but I find avoiding deep research hard.

My current process is to go to websites that promote residencies and grants and then dump the link to the residency or grant into a spreadsheet with some basic info- due dates and scope. This is basically me creating a database of things to apply for when the time is right. Some of the applications get a calendar entry as a further reminder to apply.

There is one grant application that I’ve been watching closely for the last 4 years. It opens up several times a year for applications. I get their newsletter several times a month. I think the last time I looked at their application was a month ago, but it could have been as recent as 2 weeks. I watch this one closely because it’s unrestricted, I qualify and it’s local.

This past round they removed all mentions of LGBTQIA+ as a priority for funding. This particular grant priorities marginalized and underfunded communities. Up until this round LGBTQIA+ was listed as a marginalized and underfunded community. Their website had a paragraph describing what that meant. This round- it’s gone.

The rest of their diversity initiatives remain, but LGBTQIA+ is wiped out.

After I noticed the removal on the state grant website I looked at many others.

Gone.*

It’s like LGBTQIA+ never existed on those pages.

I know much of this is due to the current administrations attack on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion initiatives. The interesting thing is that on most of these sites they continue to mention race and ethnicity. It’s interesting, as a gender non-conforming lesbian** to watch my state fight with the Tangerine Mussolini for equality when it comes to race and ethnicity but not for LGBTQIA+.

Let’s be clear here, all minorities and under represented folx, are under attack, but it’s interesting to watch in real time as states perform the trolley problem with my rights and humanity. It’s even more chilling to see this with the state where I have resided for the last 25 years of my life, Massachusetts, say they are fighting with this admin and performatively indicate that will not submit, only to have state agencies perform triage on their DEI language and trim off LGBTQIA+ from their DEI language.

The message to me is that these state agencies are willing to take a stand on SOME but not all of it’s marginalized communities. Sadly, not mine.

What does this mean for my residency dreams? *BIG SIGH* I’m not sure. I’m hopefully that for 2026 that I’ll still be able to attend one of these, I will likely stay in-state or in New England. As for grants. This is even more iffy. Grant money is drying up all over the US and in my state. I’ve spoken to some people in larger non-profits and they are looking at massive budget shortfalls. The non-profit where I work, well, it’s not pretty.

*Several residencies which are funded through private endowments and other private funding still have LGBTQIA+ listed.

** I don’t know that I’ve ever written about being gender non-conforming or a lesbian here. I have never hidden this online, and I know I casually mention my wife on my YT videos and while I’m clearly a woman in my videos, I often wear a hat… I dunno. I’m gay, been gay all my life, and embraced being butch in my 20s. I do openly talk about queer issues on the rest of my social media.

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Prep is Necessary

Rolling* gesso onto a panel.

Taping off watercolor paper.

​Measuring off working area on paper.

Cutting sheets of paper down to size.

All of this is prep work. It sets the stage for what our actual art sits on. Without the prep the work suffers. A solid amount of gesso gives paint, pastels, and other mediums something to stick to. Taping off your watercolor paper gives a nice clean edge that looks good to buyers. Cutting sheets of paper down in advance means that you won’t scramble when it’s time to work.

I used to resent prep work. I thought it cut into my art making time. I skimped on gesso on my panels. I didn’t tear down sheets of paper in advance.

I regret skimping every time it ends up cutting into my art making.

I’ve had times when the lack of layers of gesso meant my surface wasn’t exactly where I wanted it. I’ve torn down paper for prints in the middle of a print session only to get ink on them. I’ve made so many watercolors without taking  off the edge only to struggle to frame it.

Now I not only accept prep as necessary and needed but I try to use the monotony of prep as a mindful moment. I roll out gesso onto panels and take deep breaths and listen to good music. I read while I wait for the first coat of gesso to dry. I then roll on another layer in a perpendicular direction to the first. I don’t sand. I usually do 3 coats. The great thing about rolling on gesso is that it lacks the directionality of brush strokes. I don’t need to sand it. It has a bit of a pebbled texture. But rolled on evenly and smoothly, it almost levels itself. The result is an even coat with plenty of tooth, ready for my paint or pastels.

When it comes to tearing or cutting paper down to size, I try to do a few more sheets than I think I’ll need or want. Better to have more than too few. I plan now for prints that don’t print well.

I write this as I get myself ready to do a mass gesso roll out. I have 12 wooden panels that need to be gesso. I have 24 8x10inch canvas panels that need some gesso love as well as *ahem* 30 more 5×7 inch panels that need gesso.

I have been avoiding the gesso roll out. Also it’s better to do this in a mass. I’ll spread out the panels on paper at work and roll out the gesso over all the panels at once.

These are part of my DIY Artist Residency that I’m crafting for myself this summer. More on this in another post.

*Or brushing, I like to roll mine.

The THING Doesn’t Bring YOU to the Paper

The expensive pen or specialty distraction free writing tablet thingie is not going to make you a writer. Buying Golden brand acrylic paints isn’t going to make you a painter. Buying Blackwing pencils isn’t going to make you a draughts* person.

We have all at one point in time or another spent far too much on an art supply in the hopes that it would, somehow, inexplicably, make us a better artist.

While it’s true that a quality art supplies won’t fight you as you work they also don’t help you do your work. They don’t bring you to the page or get the work onto the page. They just don’t fight you as you work.

What does help is a regular practice. Routine. Regularly getting to the paper and making. It doesn’t have to be every day, just a routine. 

I think an art routine is akin to fiber for your creativity.** Making art on some sort of routine can only be beneficial. Mine is almost daily. I’m in a space in my life where I have a job that is about art, not everyone has that. Back when I worked corporate I regularly made art. For me back then it was several days a week. My day off was packed with more art than any other day. I often took my breaks in my car. I’d sketch in my small art journal or write.***

That was what I was able to do, or so I told myself. I look back and wish I had prioritized my art making more.

That said, when you see an image here, my instagram, or as I make it on youtube I’ve got YEARS of effort and experience behind making it. It looks effortless now, but it took me almost 40 years to get there.

It’s not the materials it’s the years of effort.

I began with kid’s stuff. Then move into student grade. Currently I buy professional grade materials.

There are ranges of quality within these materials. There are also personal preferences, some of these shaped by availability.

I prefer Liquitex paints. Why? They were what was readily available to me in college. Golden wasn’t around. I’ve bought Golden acrylics but my muscle memory and understanding of the paint is for Liquitex.

Anyway, buy what you can afford. Buy quality if you can, or build up to quality over time. A 5 color mixing set of a quality paint or pastel is going to serve you better than the 24 set of student grade.

Unless you won’t use the quality set.

Know yourself and what you will or won’t use. If you won’t use the $50 5 color mixing set, then get the $20 fifty color set and use the hell out of it to BUILD A PRACTICE/ ROUTINE.

*Drawing person and draw-er are wrong.

**I made a joke about regularity, I’m officially old.

***I fell for the early Moleskine marketing hype and I swear Moleskine got me through those early days of working retail. I filled a lot of them in a few years.