I've been having that feeling lately that I'm not doing it right, whatever "it" may be. I have that feeling that everything I've done should have been different. I just don't care about SEO and SMO and everything everyone else seems to be obessesed with. I simply want to write blog posts about things that I care about; art, craft, photos and all that fun stuff.
All the people I enjoy reading and they are writing about this workshop or another that is designed to turn them into a super blogger/business-person/artist/whatever and I realize I'm just not that into that. Yeah, I want to be the best damn artist and writer I can be but i also don't have the desire to sit through meetings and vlogs and podcasts and skypes with all of the well-intentioned people who claim they can make me a super something-or-the-other.
I'm fighting to leave corporate life and all that stuff brings it back in. Sure I want to use the skills and knowledge I've acquired over the years but the real goal is to leave the corporate stuff behind.
Over the last year I realized that I has to make a few changes or suffer burnout. So, I made those changes and not surprisingly my life has been better. Balance, it a good part of what life is about, the rest of life is about the pursuit of happiness in whatever form it is you seek.
In all this deep introspective bullshit I've found my new project. I've looked at what I enjoy: art and writing. Then I spent some time looking back at my life and recognizing patterns. Overwhelmingly I see a pattern of exploration and learning of new ideas. I am a compendium of thoroughly useless knowledge that I've learned over the years in a fashion with little rhyme or reason.
My personal project will combine all of this but add some structure to the whole thing. Instead of willy nilly exploring a concept I'm going to work an art journal around the concept and see what the results are. From there I hope to self publish the results via blurb or lulu.
Call it a zine. Call it something else. I'm nor sure what exactly this is all I know is that I have to pursue the combined projects.
For awhile now I've felt like everything I do is fighting with what I really want to do and that I need to give into my interests in some manner. Giving myself the space to make art, take pictures, and tell stories is exactly what my brain has been telling me to do since I first folded and stapled together my first "newspaper" when I was in 4th grade.(on pirated software and laid out on an Apple IIc printed on an Oki dot matrix.)
*and yes family and friends are higher than all that but for this post they aren't a topic.