Wordy Weekender: Real Friends

Earlier on twitter I started a series of tweets with the hashtag #trollz. It was juvenile and to me, funny. Ricë said it was too negative. I was attempting to get a group of people talking about the recent rash of trollz in the art twitter-verse. I ended up encouraging people to tweet about a more positive bend with the hashtag #realfriends. It got some conversation going.

I have written before about how I think internet issues should be handled, like adults and “behind the scenes.” Etsy calls the public outing of a person “naming and shaming.” I had a recent interaction with an Etsy seller, who I shall not name*, that was negative. In fact I left my first negative feedback on Etsy, ever, in years of purchases and sales, I’ve never left negative feedback.  Selling me something and then never shipping it, is a reason to leave negative feedback.

What I did, I propose all people do if they are cheated on Etsy, eBay, or another sales site. Handle it appropriately; first file a claim with PayPal. I pay for everything online with my paypal card. Why? I can file a claim in all of 2 minutes no matter how I use it. It’s easy, painless, and fast. I keep an eye out, if I don’t get my purchase within 2 weeks, I write in my planner when 30 days is up. At the 15 day mark I contact the seller and try and resolve thing privately. If I still do not get satisfaction or I’ve been assured that the product has been shipped, I contact the seller again at 30 days. At this point I give them an ultimatum, give me a tracking number in 24 hours or I contact paypal and file a dispute.

I don’t back down. I draw a line and I stand behind it.  If I don’t get a tracking number I file a dispute with paypal. I’ve had to do this twice, and in each instance I’ve gotten my money back in 24 hours.

What I don’t do is make public tweets, defamatory comments, or anything that could be libelous or slanderous. I try and keep in mind that most of the people I deal with online are real people, trying to make a living just like me. When I’m a happy customer I talk about those instances, I rave about great customer service and FAST shipping. I make positive tweets, face book posts, and blog posts. What I don’t want to do is tear people down, I want to build up the people that are doing a good job and send them more business. **

In my personal dealings I never want people to think of me as a troll, it is to me perhaps the absolute worst insult one can throw on the internet. Trollz ruin internet fun and activities. When a troll enters the chat you are on high alert, worried about the inevitable contrary attacks on some little comment. If you say you love something they hate it and disparage it. They call you names, make fun of your appearance, and send you private messages in the hopes to get you going. They make empty threats and say nasty things. Internet drama is a drug for them and they feed off of it, they are addicted to the high of making others feel bad. For a moment the delight of making someone’s day a little worse builds them up. The problem with any addiction is its need to be fed, constantly, as the addiction grows the need for the high grows and soon enough all the troll does is seek a new thrill. It’s a sad spiral.

I suspect and hope that this post will be the last post you hear from me on the subject of trollz. I’ve gone through and blocked them all and won’t look at them again. I suggest you do the same, they aren’t worth your time.

*Be warned that if you leave a comment naming the seller I will edit it to remove the seller’s name or delete your comment.

**Seriously how many of you have been to GouletPens.com since I first tweeted about them and how great Noodler’s ink is for drawing? I am a VERY happy and satisfied GouletPens.com customer and I’m happy to show them some love, why? They are awesome and offer good products at reasonable prices and with super fast shipping.

28 thoughts on “Wordy Weekender: Real Friends

  1. Jeanette

    Touch wood, I haven’t had much dealing.s with ‘trolls’. I find the internet and most electronic media make it all to simple to trot out some nasty knee-jerk reaction and hit send before your brain engages. Then it escalates and yes, some people, sad people, feel that this is how to get attention and feel superior. That old ‘any attention is good attention’.
    It doesn’t only happen in places like Etsy, but in business dealings as well. I prefer telephone than email because you at least get a read of emotion in a voice.
    Yes, there’s no point in feeding a troll. Just follow policy, be polite, don’t get into a slanging match and they give up because they don’t get what they want.

  2. leslie herger

    Agreed Jeanette. I had a recent rash of trollz in twitter and in my UStream chat. It completely took the fun out of it all for me. I hate the phone with passion so do most of my business via email. For the most part Ive not had any issues with trollz via email, its the one off tweets and chats where Ive had issues. I have found that when ignored they go away. Up until now Ive not had much of a problem and (touch wood) hope I dont have another, but Ive developed a zero tolerance policy for them. One trolling incident per person, them blocked and booted. Enough is enough.

  3. Rickard

    Ain’t it amazing how the one who Cried the loudest about being a poor bullied little girl, because you chose to be a deviant, is no the FULL TIME BULLY. NO ONE IS ALLOWED to have a thought not sanctioned by you or the little pink Mafia. and OMG let some one make a reference that your walnut sized Brain can not comprehend, and it must be an attack on you. After all you are special because you chose a disgusting lifestyle, and the world Revolves around you. it must be nice to be so special that you deserve special treatment and can dictate who’s a troll. seriously if any one here is a troll it is you my Friend Now GET OVER YOUR SELF NO ONE cares enough about you to troll ya!!!!

  4. leslie herger

    Thanks for proving my point. As a reference I’m adding a link to your twitter to your comment so people know exactly who is making the comment.

  5. McGrath

    Wow, um – thanks for the spot-on dramatization of how a troll would behave, Rickard. Good work!
    I recently wrote a fairly benign tweet about basic grammar skills being necessary for me to take anyone really seriously. I wasn’t singling anyone out and it had nothing to do with anything I’d just seen tweeted. But I was instantly inundated with replies from someone calling me “mean” and a “bully”, and saying that “kids today have it hard enough” without having to learn fourth grade skills, too. I was also added to their “mean” list, yet they kept following me. I didn’t need that stuff cluttering my stream, so I blocked them, mainly to get off that list.
    It’s amazing how defensive some people can be when others “have a thought not sanctioned by” the willfully and aggressively ignorant. Yes, my assertion that poor grammar* makes you less professional and credible MUST have been a personal attack toward that one angry tweeter. The nerve of me!
    *I’m not talking about who/whom and prepositions, I’m talking about things like “would of” and “intensive purposes”.

  6. Rickard

    See there you tweet how ignorant I am for speaking truth that doesn’t agree with your point of view. can’t you see how you are trying to be a bully and you need for the world to revolve around you? Maybe if you didn’t ask for it you wouldn’t get it. And let’s get this nice and Crystal Clear I don’t dislike you because you choose to be a sexual deviant. I strongly dislike you for your self centered arrogant Attitude. and because some one says something you’re not smart enough to understand,you turn in to a bully with HATEFUL Comments, but it’s ok because you’re special. And you feel like the whole world is out to get JUST YOU, like some self centered little Sorority Girl. and the thing I dislike the most is the pure amateurish Drivel you try to pass off as art. I Got news for ya it ain’t art at best it’d poorly done Handy Crafts! stuff the rest of us those that make our living doing art graduated from in 4th grade.

  7. Chris

    Um, Okay. First of all – If you’re going to post ignorant comments, at least know how to make a decent argument (for starters, it is helpful to use correct spelling and at least passable grammar(Referring to “is no the full time bully.” I assume you mean “now” the full time bully.) I don’t really see what one’s “deviant” lifestyle has to do with a person’s opinion about trolling on the internet. I think the previous post confirmed Leslie’s opinion and thoughts on trolling. Your post also shows that you are incapable of addressing the points Leslie made in her blog post. Rather than give a coherent argument as to why she might be incorrect or perhaps even share your more enlightened opinion in an effort to wow us with your infinite wisdom and social commentary, you attack her personally and call her “lifestyle” disgusting. You don’t know her, nor do you know anything about her lifestyle. If you feel that she is not open or accepting to other people’s ideas, there are more intelligent ways to communicate that – one of which is NOT to personally attack someone that you do not know personally. If you are implying that you believe that homosexuality is a disgusting lifestyle, while off-topic, there are fora in which you can discuss those types of things. I believe the Westboro Church has a pew warmed up for you. Although I vehemently disagree with your point of view, you are entitled to have it and to express it (as much as I don’t want to be subjected to it). I only wish that you would express your wrongheaded ideas more intelligently.

  8. McGrath

    I did not see the Twitter link before I posted. I’m sure that since Rickard is so defensive, he will undoubtedly think my post was all about him, but I assure you it was not.

  9. Chris

    Arrogant attitude = telling someone he’s never met that he doesn’t like her, the reason for not liking her, and most importantly, thinking that she cares.

  10. Rickard

    @Chris and McGrath. Fist may I say I commend you on your excellent Grammar Nazism ! McGrath Nice turn around thinking any of that post was pointed at you. but it was really pointed at the Main Bully here, who will strike you down if you express any opinion other than the one Approved by the GLBT Agenda! And nice HATE Speech all of you! Really Way to justify your hate speech!

  11. McGrath

    “I don’t dislike you because you choose to be a sexual deviant.”
    This is an oxymoron. And no, that doesn’t mean a dumb guy with zits. If you call someone a “sexual deviant”, then you’re displaying a dislike for them based on that assessment.
    It’s “Nazism” to ask that people use “would have” or “would’ve” instead of “would of”? Okay, I didn’t realize that asking people to at least appear smart was the exact same thing as starving them, burning them, and making soap from their ashes. Please, think before you say things like that. It overshadows whatever point you’re really trying to make.
    By the way, you’ll be happy to know that I am not a “sexual deviant”. I’m a woman who loves to have sex with men. With a strap-on.

  12. McGrath

    “McGrath Nice turn around thinking any of that post was pointed at you.”
    Please re-read my posts. I did not think it was aimed at me. I was sure you’d think mine was aimed at you, though. Apparently on some level I was right since you did become defensive about an example that had nothing to do with you.

  13. Tammy Ozuna

    Narrow mind & unkind.
    Words of hate, I do not relate.
    For you I feel sad, not mad.
    How about a week of art dedicated to loving kindness?

  14. storybeader

    well, that’s how much I know! Never heard of that unknown “thing.” I did order some Moleskine journals off Amazon on 1/13 and they haven’t arrived yet. Now I know what to do if I wait another week. My orders usually ship the next day, so I have a hard time with overly late things. BTW, thank you for that little suggestion… {:-D

  15. leslie herger

    @deina I get that hes angry that I blocked but I can only tell someone to stop so many times before I realize Im wasting my breath. I tried to be understanding, but after so many times of being belittled on twitter, in PM on chat and now this; Im done. The post wasnt completely about HIM in particular but the rash of trollz on twitter and UStream. Enough is enough. Well stream about love and tolerance all day today.

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