I’ve been drawing on the train and as I wait for the train. I pic something that I want to focus on, hats, noses, eyes, puffy jackets, or interesting shoes. (I actually picked the car I was going to ride on today based on the number of neat hats people were wearing vs those who weren’t wearing hats on the other cars. Seriously.

Generally I don’t get any attention for my activities. I'm discreet (usually) about who I’m drawing, I try to pick people who are engrossed in their phone, book, or newspaper. I try not to stare but to look for a few moments gather some info, then look at my page, then look again gather info, and draw. Eventually I stop looking and keep working on the drawing. My goal is to get as much info on the page in a minute or two.

Most people don’t notice me. I usually wear headphones and blend in with everyone else. Over the last 2 weeks I’ve gotten more attention for my sketching habit than usual. Last week a fellow grad student (from UMass Lowell) saw me sketching as we waited for our trains. He watched me over my shoulder and we had a pleasant conversation. Another person was a little pushy and rude, wanting me to draw him and then give him the drawing. While I could tear the page out of my notebook/journal it would mess up the binding and I was a little put off that he expected that I’d want/be excited to draw him and then give him the drawing for free. Hell, he could have offered to buy me a coffee.

Today a woman, about my age, saw me drawing and came up to me and asked if she could take a picture of my sketchbook. She explained that she takes a picture of one interesting thing a day that she sees on the T. I let her take the picture and we talked about her project. She does it just for her. the images collect on her computer. She doesn’t share them. But she says she always finds at least one interesting thing on the train every ride. Truly a neat project. (we could talk about the importance of keeping a journal of some sort even if you never share a page with another person, but I think that’s a WHOLE other blog post. {and yes I consider what she does a “photo” journal.})

So far I’ve only ever had positive interactions with people about my drawings. I await a day when someone tells me to stop, while I hope that never happens I know it could.

All images are from my 3.5×5.5 in BanditApple Carnet notebook/sketchbook. It is housed in a flauxdori or Midori traveler's Style Notebook cover. I've written about it before (did a video too, but I'm too lazy/tired to link it up.) Anyway, no affiliation, but I thought it would be useful to give you the size of the page. Also the pens I used on these pages were a Parker Flow refill and a Pilot Metropolitan Fountain pen with pilot ink. I've got reviews in the works for both the inks and the pen. Lots of reviews coming  up.

One of the things I've been pondering is the following question:

"Do mandala's have to be circular?"

I keep arriving at no as an answer.

Last night on the train I did my usual relaxing automatic drawing. I started the hatching, realizing I was making 7 marks over and over again. I went with it and slapped a 7 on the head of the skull. I suspect most of you won't like the video, but the Pixies are a favorite band of mine and I must've listened to this song a million times when I was in high school.

When I got home I couldn't focus on the hatching in the background. Too distracted, too amped up by class and the presentation we had and the papers I have due.

I couldn't let it go.
This morning when I got up I was able to focus on the hatching and feel relaxed while doing it. Mindful. feeling the pen on the paper, counting to 7 over and over again. Though the Zebra Sarasa is smooth and glides across the paper I could hear it.

scritch scritch scritch

scritch scritch

scritch scritch

The sound of pen on paper is something I enjoy. I don't need music to listen to when I can hear the pen on paper.
I was able to feel the bumps of the paper through the pen as it telegraphed them to my fingers. The rubbery grip of the pen keeping the pen from slipping out of my fingers.

Slowly and carefully I filled in the 5×7 rectangle on my page.

Oh, yeah, what does this have to do with mandalas? I think that a mandala can be square. WHAT WHAT WHAT. A little research shows me that many cultures used square and rectangular shaped for their mandalas. We (Western peoples) know more about the circular mandalas from Jungian psycology and Western practicioners of the art. The circle is mor often used.

I had a rough day yesterday. Intense, hard discussion, aggravating, the type of discussion that gets under your skin. Feeling attacked verbally.

While I waited for the train I read, and then once I got on the train, I got out my sketchbook and I immersed myself in the process of creating an automatic drawing.

I focused on the feelings of making the lines.
I focused on how my pens felt on the page. The stiffness of my fingers and wrist as I cramped up from not being mindful of the moment and how it reflected the stiffness of my mind and the cramped feeling of my headspace as I worked on the feelings of being attacked.

I'd like to tell you that this image allowed me to completely let go of everything. But it didn't, it made me AWARE of all of the thoughts and feelings. It allowed me to name my thoughts, give them weight, allow them to be explored. This image gave the stuff in my head form. It will allow me to continue to work on these thoughs. eventually I will be able to let go.
But not today.

I spent much of last week at art therapy camp. Actually it was orientation for grad school for art therapy. No matter what I call it, it was AWESOME. Seriously awesome.

First it was in a place that looks like this:

There were drum circles and singing and lots of clapping. I was surrounded by 150 (or so) women and a few men who were all interested in the same sorts of things I am.

There was a table loaded with art supplies and we could use them at anytime, day or night. Speaking of nights, holy crap I was up until at least 11pm EVERY NIGHT and then up again at 7am. That's how I got the sunrise pics and this one:

That's the moon and a little bit of lens flare. Cell phone camera and shooting directly into the light…

Anyway, I made a lot of art, stretched  my limits by writing some poetry and in general had an awesome time.

I also learned that if I ever go to "camp" again, to include Gas-X in my bag. The food wasn't bad it was just a huge change from my current largely vegetarian and home grown diet.

I have to write a paper about my experience, 6 pages, in APA style and I have to include references… Holy moly. Loads of work, but I have to tell you, I'm totally excited to be doing it. I feel like I've gotten to the place where I'm meant to be and that is an awesome feeling.

When I decided to publish a few pages of my journal as a zine I didn't really think much about doing it, other than I wanted to have it be in the vein of the old school zine. That feeling of being hurriedly photocopied while a copy shop employee looks on worried about the number of copies you're making. Or rushed while at work early hoping your coworkers won't come in and see the weird stuff you're copying and then having to explain to someone.  I wanted that feeling, the rush of feeling like you're doing something vaquely not quite right, but yet, feels so right.

A peak inside:

I
can finally reveal part 3 of the “big thing.” Part 3 of the big thing
is that I’m leaving my job the second week of May. I’m going to spend
the summer making art, working on my online art classes as well as
retooling my class site, art journaling ning. It’s not an optimal time
for me to leave my job but I figured if I don’t make the leap now I’d
never take a summer off, and well, I wanted to try and see if I can make
books, paint and write classes. I’ve got plans for a funky thing that
I’m going to call an artist’s zine/book. Super limited edition type of
thing, hand made, thick with my writing and lots of art journaling
goodies packed in. I’ve got a couple of class planned out. I’m at the
fleshing them out stage and outlining for videos stage. Lots of good
things going on.

I’m
sure many of you have heard rumors about ning’s decision to restructure
and increase prices. Ning has moved from ning 2 to Ning 3.0 status. I
have a year and a half to change to Ning 3.0. The problem is that Ning
3.0 does not have all the features that we currently use on
ArtJournaling ning. Though they may add them at some point. The second
problem is that it’s increasing the price from a moderate $250/yr to
about $600/yr. This is pretty drastic. A big part of what I’ve been
doing these last few weeks (when I haven’t been blogging) is exploring
other options for AJ ning. I’ve made no secret that I’ve been less than
pleased with ning’s formats and options for classes. It’s a pain for
the presenters to set up classes, and when I have guest teachers most
cannot figure out how to update the class. This makes a lot of work for
me on the back end of things, and while I’ve been working it’s been a
total pita.

the
replacement is designed for education and I’ve had a few people check
out the site and they’ve told me it’s easy to navigate, easy to
interact, and easy to look at. It’s not ready for new people yet, as I’m
still tweaking the formating and working on the site. Not to worry, AJ
ning is staying online.

Oh
yeah, the new site is going to have an art journaling wiki. Super easy
to search, loads of info, the ability to ask questions, and loads of
links to videos and blogs.

Holy crapola, I’m excited!