A few weeks back someone with an email address from a large corporation joined my site, AJ ning, I allowed her in but carefully watched to see what she was doing. I have a zero tolerance policy for advertising. As I watched, she did nothing, no interactions, no uploads of images, no content, nothing. She didn’t add one comment or idea to the community. I forgot about her until the other day.

She loaded an event for approval.

A big corporately funded shindig.

It set me off.

I don’t blame the marketer for doing what she did, that’s her job, but I’ll be damned if I allow corporations to advertise on my site for free.

These corporations think they can trample anywhere and they’ll be welcome.

Not so.

Corporate entities are not welcome on my site.

I’ve worked too hard and long on art journaling and art journaling ning to allow these corporations to make a quick buck off the community that has been built by people who share willingly and for free their ideas, their art, and information with one another for the sheer love of what we do. No forget that, forget the corporations that want to blunder in, make some money while people are interested. After the co-opt and sell MY art form  and turn it into something that its not, for a few dollars, and when they lose interest and the paycheck isn’t big enough for them, they’ll move on. I’ll still be here slopping paint into my journal, glueing in garbage, and torturing a page.

Because this isn’t about money for me, it’s about passion, authenticity, and life. Art journaling isn’t a job for me, it’s something I DO.

Why do I so dislike these corporate things?

One of the things I’ve been learning about through school is the true power of art for healing, in the right circumstances and with the right help. The right help could be a licensed art therapist, experienced healer, or self directed, depending on the needs of the person. What I’m trying to reconcile is this with the proliferation of people online selling “art heals” and fearless art exploration of the psyche. Some of it worries me. I’m frightened of the gurus selling something they don’t fully understand.

I’m frightened of artists who have healed themselves and teach that method without learning of the damage they can do to others.

I’m frightened of the massive amounts of money that exchange via the internet for these services.

In particular an online acquaintance has aligned themselves with someone I’ve personally known to be destructive, manipulative, and harmful to the well being of others; though this acquaintance knows these issues she has chosen to work with this person.

A great deal of money is on the line with online healing art classes.

Art heals.

Art saves.

I don’t know how to reconcile what I know of this online acquaintance and this new business partnership. Part of me wants to cry foul and sell out. Part of me is simply worried about the false help they will give to people, and perhaps the bad name they could give art therapy.

Art heals.

Art saves.

Find inner peace.

Find harmony.

These damaging people do a disservice to real art therapy and art as therapy. They make a mockery of the statement “Art heals.” They further damage people through incompetence and money grubbing ignorance.

Don’t be deceived, when you are paying a premium price for an online service there are hundreds of other people also paying a premium price for that same service. Thousands of dollars are wrapped up in these online services.

This is part 1. Part 2 will be up when I figure out how to say it in a way that makes sense.

I've been doing a lot of reading these last few days. I had a paper due that I think I totally over thought… I did a  lot of reading for that and then I have a lot of reading for the actual clas parts of school. One of the articles I just read was by a woman named Catherine Moon. It was a very interesting piece and in it she writes about the "critical eye," aka inner critic.* So I did an automatic drawing and as I was doing the drawing I was moved to add an eyeball above the face. Interesting. the drawing was automatic but the eyeball less so. I tried to NOT add it but my brain kept screaming at me to ADD the eye. I gave in and did it.

Here is the image without water added:

And again with water added:

I also hung an art show this past weekend. I got an email froma guy who knew someone I met up with to talk about art (yay! for meeting up with other artists in the area!) she sent himn a link and my work got hung on the wall. Well, it went something like that, there were a few back and forth emails and such. So I sent out an invite to some friends via facebook and we got together to look at my weirdo drawings aka automatic drawings, drink coffee and eat cookies.

My art, on the wall!

THIS is a chocolate chip cookie with an Oreo baked inside of it. Also, the Oreo was in fall colors, so once I bit in, ORANGE! It was every bit as tasty as it looked. Also, Jonathan made me one of the best cappuchinos I've had in a long time. If you want to see my weirdo drawings in person head to Atomic Cafe in Beverly, MA. Get yourself on of those Oreo stuff cookies!

*Apparently I now have to cite everything when I write, so here you go:

Moon, C. H. (2002). Studio art therapy:
Cultivating the artist identity in the art therapist. (pp.
156-196 ) London: Jessica
Kingsley.

Last night, after reading for hours, and then watching some junk TV on Hulu I decided to do my "evening" mandala riff. I'm still figuring these things out. I'm digesting a huge quantity of info in a short period of time. I'm immersed in this stuff. So anyway. I started to work on mandala riff. I had an idea I really liked. I've been working with a combination of Pentel Hybrid Technica, Zebra Sarasa, and Uniball Signo pens. This idea simply flowed from the pen tip. I added some lines and more lines, i had some patterns and the mandala bit came in and I liked it a lot.
Some of the mandala riffs I'm doing are staying black and white and some are getting the color treatment. I couldn't decide if I wanted color or if I wanted to leave it as is.

I forged ahead and added color to the image and now I hate it. The dark shade I chose detracts from the sensitive patterns and lines I created with my pen work. The colors don't work well with the image I'd created. Immediately I was filled with regret for my color choice and for "ruining" my drawing with watercolor crayon. This isn't a feeling I usually have as I art journal. This is a completely foreign feeling. I've always thought of my art journal as a no hold barred playground. So to feel that I've "ruined" an image is new.
Immediately, I started to question the "why" and "hows" of what I was feeling. Why was I so disappointed in myself? Why did I hate this image so much?

I realized that this feeling was what I was meant to explore. Maybe not last night or even at this moment but over the next few days I'm going to be exploring all those questions.*

Continue reading →

Holy moley, it's been awhile since I did a blog post. In case you missed my post about it, I started graduate school at the end of August. It's been a whirlwind non-stop awesome ride. I'm learning an incredible amount about art therapy and meeting some awesome people interested in the same stuff. Basically, I'm learning that all these things I've been spouting off about here about art being a powerful tool for healing is true. But I'm also learning about the psychological theories behind the powerful healing tool. I'm also learning how music, movement (dance), play, and other expressive arts can be used WITH art to heal.

This is powerful stuff.

Mind blowing.

Honestly, I'm sitting in a place of extreme gratitude that I'm able to now devote my life to this thing called art therapy. My past has given me a lot of tools to use with what I'm learning but I'm also seeing how I can use those tools in my future.

So awesome.

Oh, part of my course work is art. So that's awesome. I'm going to try and get better about the blog again. I've got lots of school related things- pen reviews, paper reviews, and new art materials that I want to review here.

I used to love driving. Really, really loved it. I loved it until I started to commute over an hour each way on I95/128 here in MA. Driving 128 is enough to make the most seasoned driver anxious, adding to it a significant stretch of I95 and well, hell on earth. Leaving the corporate world means I get to leave the hellish commute behind.

Now my commute is about the same amount of time, but by train. I sit on the commuter rail and read books for school or write my papers out longhand. I sit and reflect on my class I just took. I watch the sparrows fly in and out of weeds and chainlink fence. I look at rusty poles as I wait for the train to pick me up. I talk to fellow passengers or bury my nose in my book.

I don't worry that someone will be distracted by their cell phone, drift over the line and sideswipe me. I'm not on high alert waiting for the other guy to almost kill me. I havent' had to call 911 when I've witnessed an accident.

It has been glorious and peaceful in a way.

This is just one view of my commute:

I am thankful.