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Of
the many things I’m considering for school this fall are 2 questions,
first: Is it feasible for me to make all my notebooks, or will I even
need notebooks or are things all digital since I was in school so many
years ago? Second: Is notetaking with a fountain pen a realistic option?
It seems kinda crazy when I think about all the changes that have
occurred in note taking technology since I was in school.

One
of the major projects I had to complete in my 3rd year of school was to
create a binder/archive of projects to do with  my art students. This
involved heading to the library stacks with a card loaded up with money
or a pocket full of nickels and dimes, finding an interesting article,
photocopying it, and then making note on the first page margins what
magazine it was in as well as the publication date. I then had to place
this into one of 3 giant 3 ring binders I had for the project and decide
what tab it belonged under and which age it was appropriate. After I
did that I had to create an index. It was labor intensive and not an
easy task. In the end I had a milk crate full of photocopies in binders
and lots of ideas for last minute classes. I haven’t cracked those
binders open in 10+ years. I still have them, I spent hundreds of
dollars on photocopies.

I
have to think about how much easier this project would be today with
either a smartphone or tablet and a scanbox or DIY version of the scan
box coupled with something like Evernote or Google’s knockoff, Keep.
There are a number of apps that will let you shoot a series of pictures
and create a searchable PDF. It would be crazy easy to create a pdf
database on the computer that is fully searchable either through the
search function of the computer or by creating a spreadsheet.

Maybe
the reason non-traditional students do so well is because they are all, “Holy crap this is soo much easier
than when I was 18!”

Back
to the question at hand, notebooks, should I make them? Things to
consider- I can only make them unlined and 5.25×8 inches or so in size.
This is a size I like but will I miss lines? What paper should I use, if
I do make them? It will need to be economical yet, if I decide to use
fountain pens, decent for fountain pens. Is it cheaper for me to invest
time and energy into making my own notebooks, or should I simply buy
some?

As
for the fountain pen questions, I’m going to see if it will work or
not. If it doesn’t I’ll grab some back up pens, probably something from
Uniball. They are great for doodling.

I've mentioned that I love my Kaweco Sport medium nibbed fountain pen. It's a decent looking workhorse pen. one I'm not afraid to take anywhere and draw anything with. It's moderate price (in fountain pen terms) means I'll be upset but not too heartbroken if I lose it. Who am I kidding, I'll be a wreck if I ever lose it. I love this damn pen.
I read this page on the fountain pen network about making a bulb filler for the pen. And I thought huh, I can do that. So I did.

I had to order "sacs" for my pen, which I did through this guy. Minimum order is $15, so I had to spend $20. I've kep a few aside for further hacking and tinkering and the rest are for sale in the classifieds section of the FPN.

Anyway, here is the video.

This hack will work with any pen. I also made a filler for my old Rotring Esprit.

Just a heads up, I'm moving my site to a new domain and making a few changes to the site. It might go down for a bit but know that it'll be back up shortly.

The
next part of self doubt, or the recurring refrain I hear in my head is,
“How will I screw this up? How will I subvert this from reaching
success?” You see, I believe I have a history of screwing up the things
that should work, or so I tell myself. I tell myself that I find these
ways of hijacking myself so even if I finish a piece or find my way to
success I won’t actually achieve success, instead, I’ll be left
disappointed looking at success, so close yet outside of my grasp,
achievable but not.

These
are incredibly destructive thoughts, especially when kept in the dark. I
know my initial reaction when thinking and feeling like this is to not
share that I feel, well, vulnerable. When I boil it down and really look
at these destructive thoughts I realize that when I’m working on a
successful piece, getting good news, or anything else good those good
feelings are delicate and unstable. Especially when I’m first getting
them established. In a way I think self doubt comes from a protective
instinct, a place where we want to protect those oh so delicate feelings
of success from the possibility of failure. At some point something
happens and makes those protective feelings turn inward and they become
destructive.

At
that point I shut down, declare that I’m in a rut and feel as if I’ll
never get out. Why work on fresh art when I’ll just screw it up anyway?

It’s up to me to break that cycle, no one can do it for me. I have to decide, “Hey, I can do this.” Then I have to do it. (Some external positivity helps, so give someone props on stuff you see online, comment on a blog post, or flickr upload. Spread love.)