Category Archives: Reflection

Reflection: I Write Heaps of Words

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For those of you who have followed my blog for any period of time, you know I write. I write many words, some of them go here. Many of them are wrapped up in half finished art guides that need editing and photography to be finished. While cleaning my office, I came upon one of these manuscripts. The large binder clip that held it together was stretched to gaping, and the stack of paper was marked up with my favorite blend of Noodler’s red inks; Nikita and Fox red. It looked as though I had cut an artery open on the page. Each page with edits had a orange post it tab letting me know they were on that page.

It brought me back to the frustration of making the edits, knowing that an edit was on page 55 when I made the edit wasn’t helped by the fact that by the time I’d made the 100 edits before suddenly it was on page 75, and thus hard to find.The back and forth of editing has never been my favorite part of writing. While it is something I’m perfectly capable of doing, I’ve avoided it out of annoyance. That is why you get blog posts with misspellings, various typos, and grammatical errors. I lack patience.

I started writing a novel a few months ago. It began as a way to unwind from all the heavy reading and writing I’ve been doing. Because I’ve been reading heavy nerdy stuff, it’s definitely getting to be heavier than intended. It is also slow going because I had no process on how to write. I was sort of throwing ideas on the page and seeing what I liked and as I went I  developed my characters. I got 10,000 words into it and realized it would never work as a novel because, well it just wasn’t readable. As an exercise in writing, well it was something else. I realized I needed to write my novel like I write my researched papers. Start with an idea, flesh it out, make an outline of the points i need to hit, then flesh those out, and soon enough I have my 10 pages of researched goodness.

Except with a novel I’m creating a world, and shit needs to be consistent, and ideas need to be right for the character. Anyway, I’m figuring this stuff out and it’s a necessary distraction from all the heavy stuff I’m reading. I’m relaxing my brain and with the relaxed, creative mind I’m finding new ways of thinking about the heavy stuff I’m reading. I’m able to come up with better ideas, my papers are flowing more smoothly, and I think my writing has gotten better. well, not my blog writing. This stuff could still  you some serious editing.

Anyway, my novel may never end up being anything serious, right now it’s serving it’s purpose by helping to relax my mind,  but who knows what the future holds?

Perfect Pair

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I particularly enjoy Staedtler Wopex pencils, sadly they do not perform well on my notebook paper. I recently started to write in a Poppin Medium Soft Cover Notebook. The paper is smooth and allows my pencils to glide over it’s surface. This got me to thinking that if my harder pencils are not only gliding over the surface but leaving a nice dark line then maybe my Wopexen would work especially well.

And I was right. Not only do the Wopexen work really well on this paper but so do the generally horrible Write Dudes Recycled Denim* pencils. They write well on this paper but they still sharpen horribly.

Finding a paper that works particularly well with a particular pencil is kind of awesome. I happened upon this perfect combination randomly. As I mentioned that I use the last page of all my pocket notebooks as a place to test my pencils and pens for compatibility. Which is what I was doing with the poppin notebook. I’m really happy that I tested the pencils and found these perfect combinations.

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Reflection: Feeling Accomplished via Pencil Use

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When the new semester began I decided that I was going to pick a pencil and use it until there was just a nub left. The first pencil I used down to nothing was a Creatacolor fine art graphite in B grade. Because it is a drawing pencil, the point retention was junk and I quickly wore it to a nubbin. It fit into my Stad One Touch well and I was able to use it until there was less than a centimeter left. I felt accomplished in using a single pencil until there was an unusable piece left, as if I could measure my learning through the amount of pencil used for notes and writing. Ridiculous right?

Feeling accomplished is a good intrinsic motivator. (For me anyway, I don’t know what intrinsically motivates you.) I like to feel accomplished. For a lot of my life I’ve done things and thought to myself, “Ha, I did that! That’s an accomplishment!” as if knowing that I did something, even a simple thing, was an accomplishment. And when I think more deeply about these thing, even the smallest of chores can be turned into an accomplishment. “I washed the floor! Yay, I accomplished something today!” Looking back at the pencils and learning, learning, other than counting the articles read or papers written, has little in the way of measuring itself daily. Rather, I write a paper and wait for the grade. I read an article and make notes, maybe journal a few ideas that come up. Until the end of the semester there is no way to measure my accomplishment. Enter the pencils. Using up a pencil gives me a measurement of use; notes taken, ideas recorded, and time spent.nubbins

Using a pencil from new down to a nub is not something that can be done in a short period of time. It takes dedicated use, concentration, and a lot of writing. Supposedly, an average (what is average? HB#2?) pencil will write 35 miles of words. That’s a serious amount of writing. Thirty-five miles. How many miles of notes, journaling, ideas, mind dumps, and grocery lists have  I made? Just thinking about writing for 35 miles makes me feel even more accomplished and less ridiculous.

I’m almost finished with a Dixon Ticonderoga Renew Wood. I’ve got an inch and a half left. After that I’m going to finish the last 5 inches of my Staedtler blue Norica from Canada. I’ve had the last 6 inches of a Palomino HB on my desk for a month, that will get the nubbin treatment next. While my enjoyment of using a single pencil down to near nothingness is holding true, I will admit that for ease of use I keep a pencil box full of sharp pencils with me for note taking. I’m going to pare this down to 4 pencils so that I can really focus on how much pencil I’m using. nubbins

Reflection: Adaptability of the Traveler’s Notebook System

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For the last several years I’ve been carrying some variation of a homemade Traveler’s Notebook system. I have gotten my system to perfection for me- one of my simple slim two pocket inserts, a BanditApple Carnet (BAC) peewee, and a Field Notes (FN). This system allowed me to jot down important information on a catch all page in the FN or if I needed more room to take up a whole page in the FN. The BAC allowed me to sketch on the train. The pocket hold receipts, stamps, and odds and ends. This worked perfectly for me for several years. It got me through my last hellish year at the old job and through my first year of GradSchool. But today I realized that it was a little inappropriate for me to carry my journal with me to my internship. It also didn’t work for my needs as an art therapist. It was simply put- too bulky and cumbersome.tale of travelersA couple of weeks ago I bought some Post it “Study” Grid notes and cut them down to fit onto the back cover of my planner- housed in a custom made Davis Leather Works simple notebook cover. This cover is traveler’s notebook style, but holds only a BAC peewee sized planner and a simple slim 2-pocket insert. The gridded post it notes saved my bacon as I was running around the senior center, jotting down  notes about supplies the program has, things the director needs, things my supervisor would like to see, what kind of art people like, and other assorted quick notes. While my planner worked well for the day, it’s not a long term solution.

I think that a pocket notebook like a moleskine would be too formal for the setting, and if I lost it would house far too much important information*. I’d like to stick to some sort of Field Notes or Word sized note book, something pocket sized between 48 and 64 pages. Ruling not important. But I’d like to be able to combine it with a pocket system that I can keep post its and index cards in. So basically, I’m looking to make a cover like my planner cover, that holds a pocket notebook and a pocket with a handful of notecards and a few post its cut to size. It has to fit into the back pocket of my khakis.

It feels a little strange to me that the system that I currently use isn’t appropriate for a new setting. I simply assumed it would be good for all settings, since it’s been “there for me” through so much and for so long.  It’s strange to think that I’m so attached to my notebook system that I feel a little lost (and admittedly sad) that I won’t have it with  me. Instead what I’ll have with me will be a new version of the system, something adapted to work with my new profession. Something slimmer and a little more sleek.

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Reflection: Best Tools for the Job

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I was thinking about a conversation I had with an acquaintance about pens and pencils. She considers herself a writer, at the time she was poo-pooing my use of fountain pens. During this conversation she made the statement, or something much like it, “Any pen will do the job.” As she made this statement she used a Bic Stic and I used a TWSBI 530. The truth is, yes, any pen will do the job but the real question is, will any pen (or pencil) add to the enjoyment of that job?  Will this pen make this job easier, or harder? To me it’s a question of quality.coffee&bulletpencilYears ago, when I started to ask these questions I began to explore  how I used my tools, the marks they made, and how my I enjoyed using them. Once I started this exploration I started to look for tools that I could use and enjoy while I wrote and made my art.

The real reason that people so often quote, “Any pen will do,” at us pen and pencil fanatics is that it’s beat into our heads in school to just pick up a pen/pencil and make art. We’re told by teachers that people get bogged down in the search for a pen or pencil and simply  don’t write or make art. I’ve had teachers tell me to get to the act of making art rather than picking the right tool. I think it’s vitally important that we find the right pen/pencil for us to make art. I think getting a quality writing instrument is a matter of self-respect.

Using a good pen/pencil adds a level of enjoyment to creating that is missing when a Bic Stic is uncapped or a Dixon HB #2 is sharpened (if you can get it to hold a point.) When I ink up my fountain pen I’m performing a ritual that is over a hundred years old. When I sharpen my pencil I’m following in the footsteps of some of the greats. Why suffer with a poor quality Dixon HB #2 when I can sharpen an USA Gold HB #2 or a Staedtler Norica and actually enjoy writing and sketching with them? We’re more likely to repeat an experience if we enjoy it.

During classes and here on this blog I’ve often said that  we should buy the best tools that we can afford in that moment. If all I can afford is something in the 99 cent range then I should strive for the best quality pencil or pen in that range. Then I should use the shit out of it. When I can afford it I should graduate to the next best thing. There are a lot of affordable options that are a better quality than the Dixon HB #2 or the BIC stic.* Continue reading →